wtf

Jan. 15th, 2014 03:21 am
hummingbirdmadgirl: (Default)
[personal profile] hummingbirdmadgirl
so tonight we took bones on a walk. the santa ana winds are blowing across LA and have brought with them some horribly dry air that is at least somewhat enjoyable at night. some people call the santa ana winds the devil's wind and claim that they make people crazy.

This afternoon the PCH had a 2 acre fire that you could apparently see from miles away. there's nothing weirder than seeing pictures of the beach on fire.

since it was nice-ish out we decided to take the dog on a long walk...which kept getting interrupted by...weirdness on a level i haven't experienced in a long time.

we talked with this one guy Twist, who is a homeless guy we talk to a lot, he's nice and sober and I honestly am curious to his whole story, but so far we just tend to talk about dogs, LA, just kind of trivial stuff, but we hang out and he's really nice. he loves the dog and the dog completely loves him. tonight he was telling us all about the camp he lives in in the canyon and gave us an open invitation to come hang out some time. which was sort of unexpected and out of the norm but not weird.

a couple blocks later we ran into this guy who apparently knows us though neither ethan and i could remember him. he started rambling about ballet and yoga and then all of the sudden pulled a knife out (at this point i contemplated whether or not my epi pen would be a good defensive weapon) and instead of stabbing us (yay!) he started throwing the fucking thing around while doing ballet. we were sort of cornered into an empty shop doorway so there was really no good way to quickly get away with the dancing man with the knife so we just sort of let him do his thing. then he tried to sell us weed, then crack. once he realized we were not interested in drugs, he started telling us about the price is right (i still have no idea what was going on), how he wanted to punch l ron hubbard's brother in the face, and how we should tear down the scientology building on hollywood blvd and replace it with condos. i was just sort of astounded this was happening, and i think someone with a better survival instinct than i (or ethan) probably would've figured out a way to extract themselves from the situation way earlier, however i was just sort of transfixed by the bizarreness of the whole thing...

eventually we escaped and laughed about how bizarre everything was. usually walks with the dog are pretty chill in the evening.

when we were a couple blocks away from our apartment, we stopped at a bodega type place to get cigarettes. at this point i was walking around a parking lot with the dog and ran into a rather tall gentleman who was wearing what looked like catcher's gear, black leather gloves, and a construction helmet. at this point honestly nothing is going to faze me in terms of "bizarre shit people wear in hollywood" so i was completely unimpressed with this guy until he told me "i am going to kill you and steal your dog" at which point i was just sort of shocked. either this guy meant it, had a terrible sense of humor, was crazy, or some combination of all that. i was just sort of rooted to the spot, apparently an addition to "bridget has inappropriate reactions to serious situations"* staring at the guy who then pointed his thumb and index finger at my forehead (at this point i started backing up toward the crosswalk) and said "bang, you're dead, your dog did nothing to save you" and repeated this a few times until ethan (oblivious to this) joined me, and he again repeated, "i am going to kill you and steal your dog" with a big fucking smile on his face as if that was totally something normal you say to anyone ever. thankfully he did not follow us as we ran across the street.

when we were a couple feet from our apartment building we ran into another stranger who was totally nice and normal but i think we didn't know how to deal with him as he completely did not fit the narrative of our evening.

i am now starting to wonder about this whole santa ana wind bringing the crazy thing since after tonight....i just don't even know.

then about an hour ago there was an earthquake.

YAY LA!!!!!





*i have a track record of cracking up when horrible stuff happens.

Date: 2014-01-15 03:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] plankton.livejournal.com
what about the security guard you thought was peeing in walgreens? it wouldn't be weird except it's a really nice walgreens!

Date: 2014-01-15 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clevernonsense.livejournal.com
the nice ones are the best to pee in

Date: 2014-01-15 05:50 pm (UTC)

Date: 2014-01-15 05:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clevernonsense.livejournal.com
also, that's basically like the walgreens that opened in downtown boston (at least by written description)

Date: 2014-01-15 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iterum.livejournal.com
Wow. Almost seems like you must have been on some kind of Candid-Camera-esque reality show without knowing it.

Aside: In my writing class, I used to assign an essay by Joan Didion on the crazy-making effects of the Santa Ana.

Date: 2014-01-16 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brigid.livejournal.com
i was seriously wondering (when the guy was throwing the knife around) if we were in fact not on some sort of candid camera thing

Date: 2014-01-16 02:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasonlizard.livejournal.com
I like your posts. They cure me of any desire to move back to the west coast. :)

Glad you guys made it home alright.

Date: 2014-01-16 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brigid.livejournal.com
i do not think i knew you harbored any nostalgia for the west coast!

Date: 2014-01-16 01:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasonlizard.livejournal.com
Surprisingly, yes. Lots of happy memories. But I realize a lot of those are based the context of what I was doing at the time.

Date: 2014-01-16 02:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crystalns.livejournal.com
...the fuck

Date: 2014-01-16 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brigid.livejournal.com
yeah it was weird for sure. i promise when you come out here we will avoid stuff like that ;)

Date: 2014-01-16 03:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crystalns.livejournal.com
Haha good call!

Profile

hummingbirdmadgirl: (Default)
hummingbirdmadgirl

April 2014

S M T W T F S
  1 2345
6789101112
13141516 171819
20 21 2223242526
27282930   

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 25th, 2017 08:34 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios