Jan. 15th, 2014

wtf

Jan. 15th, 2014 03:21 am
hummingbirdmadgirl: (Default)
so tonight we took bones on a walk. the santa ana winds are blowing across LA and have brought with them some horribly dry air that is at least somewhat enjoyable at night. some people call the santa ana winds the devil's wind and claim that they make people crazy.

This afternoon the PCH had a 2 acre fire that you could apparently see from miles away. there's nothing weirder than seeing pictures of the beach on fire.

since it was nice-ish out we decided to take the dog on a long walk...which kept getting interrupted by...weirdness on a level i haven't experienced in a long time.

we talked with this one guy Twist, who is a homeless guy we talk to a lot, he's nice and sober and I honestly am curious to his whole story, but so far we just tend to talk about dogs, LA, just kind of trivial stuff, but we hang out and he's really nice. he loves the dog and the dog completely loves him. tonight he was telling us all about the camp he lives in in the canyon and gave us an open invitation to come hang out some time. which was sort of unexpected and out of the norm but not weird.

a couple blocks later we ran into this guy who apparently knows us though neither ethan and i could remember him. he started rambling about ballet and yoga and then all of the sudden pulled a knife out (at this point i contemplated whether or not my epi pen would be a good defensive weapon) and instead of stabbing us (yay!) he started throwing the fucking thing around while doing ballet. we were sort of cornered into an empty shop doorway so there was really no good way to quickly get away with the dancing man with the knife so we just sort of let him do his thing. then he tried to sell us weed, then crack. once he realized we were not interested in drugs, he started telling us about the price is right (i still have no idea what was going on), how he wanted to punch l ron hubbard's brother in the face, and how we should tear down the scientology building on hollywood blvd and replace it with condos. i was just sort of astounded this was happening, and i think someone with a better survival instinct than i (or ethan) probably would've figured out a way to extract themselves from the situation way earlier, however i was just sort of transfixed by the bizarreness of the whole thing...

eventually we escaped and laughed about how bizarre everything was. usually walks with the dog are pretty chill in the evening.

when we were a couple blocks away from our apartment, we stopped at a bodega type place to get cigarettes. at this point i was walking around a parking lot with the dog and ran into a rather tall gentleman who was wearing what looked like catcher's gear, black leather gloves, and a construction helmet. at this point honestly nothing is going to faze me in terms of "bizarre shit people wear in hollywood" so i was completely unimpressed with this guy until he told me "i am going to kill you and steal your dog" at which point i was just sort of shocked. either this guy meant it, had a terrible sense of humor, was crazy, or some combination of all that. i was just sort of rooted to the spot, apparently an addition to "bridget has inappropriate reactions to serious situations"* staring at the guy who then pointed his thumb and index finger at my forehead (at this point i started backing up toward the crosswalk) and said "bang, you're dead, your dog did nothing to save you" and repeated this a few times until ethan (oblivious to this) joined me, and he again repeated, "i am going to kill you and steal your dog" with a big fucking smile on his face as if that was totally something normal you say to anyone ever. thankfully he did not follow us as we ran across the street.

when we were a couple feet from our apartment building we ran into another stranger who was totally nice and normal but i think we didn't know how to deal with him as he completely did not fit the narrative of our evening.

i am now starting to wonder about this whole santa ana wind bringing the crazy thing since after tonight....i just don't even know.

then about an hour ago there was an earthquake.

YAY LA!!!!!





*i have a track record of cracking up when horrible stuff happens.

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